Month: April 2015

I asked a question and got an answer

Sara Moser3 Comments

I had a challenging week at work.

The job itself hasn’t changed. Management has changed and is magnifying and micromanaging. On Thursday I found myself being aggressive and impatient with people. This is not what I want to do. This is not my true nature.

When I first started this job five years ago, I felt like there was opportunity to help people. I used to go to work with a prayer – let me make a positive difference in someone’s life today. And I would, either a patient or a coworker. I haven’t been doing that lately.

Thursday evening I discussed my feelings with Robert, and he suggested that I ask a specific question directed toward God, the universe, my guides, the cosmic consciousness. And expect an answer.

It’s Sunday morning and as I was waking up, I realized I had gotten the answer. When I was meditating Friday night, very briefly I saw an actual hand, then felt the index finger apply pressure on my third eye. Then I saw gold, spreading out mandala style, and in the center, a lion.

The question(s):

Is my plan to stay at my job going to allow me to serve others as I blossom into this new place in my life? Does it really have a higher purpose? Can I have joy in that place? Is it possible to refocus on making a difference, a positive difference, and let the rest go?

I’d really like a quick answer. Like today, please. 

I wrote that Friday morning. And had that experience Friday night. I guess I needed it to sink in.

The third eye is about intuition. Sometimes I see color there, or an eye, or faces. This was much more tangible, with the finger and the gold and the lion. It’s like the finger was there to emphasize to me to take notice.  I did some research on the meaning of the lion and found this here:

In the realm of spirit animals, the lion wins the prize for most relentless fighter in the face of life challenges. The lion spirit animal represents courage and strength in overcoming difficulties. The lion symbolizes:

  • Strength, assertiveness, personal power
  • A common meaning for the lion spirit animal is predatory feelings, such as anger, aggression directed at someone else or towards you
  • Personal struggle to deal with these feelings
  • Lion spirit animals warn about a threatening situation or event in your life

Gold is the color of wealth and endurance. It is the color of the sun and the lion, representing confidence and courage. Gold also pertains to divine protection and enlightenment, and spiritual power in all aspects operating for the greater good.

What I am taking from this is that I have personal power. I am strong, and I can deal with the stress of work without being unduly stressed.  With this increased awareness, I don’t have to let anyone else’s “ickiness” get on me, especially the boss’s! And I can make a positive difference in someone’s life every day, no matter where I am.

The answer is YES, to all four questions. Yes I can!

 

 

Morning Introspection

Sara Moser3 Comments

I went down to the lake this morning to drink my coffee. It is coffee, although I am gradually decreasing the coffee and increasing the Raja’s cup. Blended with butter, it is delicious.

The lake has a lot of vegetation floating on it. Robert thinks it is water hyacinth. Much haslake with water hyacinth gathered along the pier and boardwalk where I sat, contemplating and watching the birds. Lately, when I look out the window, I don’t see many birds. But sitting, they come. I don’t know the names of most of them.

There are gulls, of course, and an occasional egret. I think the large black bird is a grackle. There are smaller birds that flit quickly over the water, and seem to really like the water hyacinth islands. I wonder if there are insects there that are easy to catch. I saw a lone duck, flying low, quacking as he went. I wonder if he’s trying to catch up to his friends.

My favorite is the pelican, but there were none to be seen this morning.

My thoughts recently are wandering to the future. I want to stay in this present moment, mindfully, enjoying the beauty of the morning. Yet, I am in a spot where my life has had another turning point, and I have set a goal.

Next June, 2016, will see the culmination of some of these goals and the beginning of something else. It’s that something else that keeps causing me to wonder.

Sometime last summer or fall, it had become clear to me that it was time to think about my future. I don’t want to stay at my job forever, or even for a few more years. I want to travel, even live a gypy’s life, maybe.

Goal #1: save as much money as I can, for the time when I leave the job. Goal #2: work full time until June 2016. I will have been there for 6 years, and I will have had enough. I sometimes feel like I’ve had enough now, but practicality still reigns somewhat. I think there’s still purpose for me there. That month, I will be 59 1/2, the age of being able to withdraw some monies without penalty.

Those were my only real goals until I made the decision to enroll with New World Ayurveda. Not only is the course of study exactly what I am interested and the cost affordable, but the concluding week long intensive is in….. (drum roll, please)… June 2016!

A major shift has occurred since I began this study, a shift in my soul, a new sense of purpose. Robert, my partner, says it is visibly noticeable. I’ve had people ask me what  is happening, I have a more peaceful appearance. I can feel it inside.

I think it all started when I learned Primordial Sound Meditation and began the practice of twice daily meditation – March of last year. I don’t understand how it works, but it does.  I started stepping out of my comfort zone more and more, with painting, writing (this blog), decisions about ridding myself of toxic relationships, and other issues related to how I live day to day.

So, as I sat thinking on this, enjoying the beauty of the morning, I realized that the wondering about what would happen in June of 2016 was turning into worrying.  I was sitting in a place of beauty, so I closed my eyes, felt the air, took a few breaths, and decided that the best thing to do would be to write about it and let it go. I opened my eyes, drank in the beauty once more, and went inside to write.

Three ways to deal with stress

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Do you have stress in your day?

Most of us do. The question is, how do we deal with it?

Some signs of stress can be low energy, difficulty sleeping, frequent colds and infections, indigestion, constipation,diarrhea, or nausea, headaches or ringing in the ears, mystery aches and pains, nervousness or shaking, and at its worse, shortness of breath and chest pain.

The most common response to these symptoms is to think that there is something physically wrong. ( And there could be.) But if you get checked out by your doctor, they can’t find an underlying cause, then it could be related to stress.

Sometimes we don’t take the time to digest our experiences. If we go from one activity to another, or have a lot of responsibility, or have personal relational or financial difficulties, and don’t take time for ourselves, then we aren’t fully digesting what is happening within, which can lead to some of the above symptoms. It’s rather like not chewing food well.

The first way that I have found helpful in handling stress is to only do one thing at a time. At work this is a huge challenge, as I have a lot of demands placed on me at any given time. Even though at times I slip and catch myself trying to multitask, I actually get more done with less stress and less error when I focus on only one thing at a time.

The second way is to sit with yourself. Meditation is the best way to do this, but before I started meditating, there were other things I tried that were helpful, and I still do some of them now. When I was in a bad relationship, I learned, through the help of some great people in Al-Anon, to give myself 15 minutes to have a good cry, which releases a lot of stress, then wash my face or take a bath or shower. (Or cry in the bath or shower!) If you cry more longer than that, things can just get worse.

Third, look at your eating and sleeping habits. Are you eating nourishing food on a regular basis? Try to eat 3 meals a day with the midday meal being the largest, and don’t eat after about 7 pm. Are you staying up late watching a marathon of your favorite show? Not the greatest thing for getting  a good night’s sleep!

Other ideas are to take a walk in nature, connect with animals, or sit by a body of water. I have found that just listening to the sound of birds calling or saying hello to a dog brings me a sense of inner peace. Take a gentle yoga class. Do something creative. Get away from social media or electronics for a bit. Read a good book, or engage in laughter through a funny movie, socializing with good people, or engaging in a pillow fight. It is best to try “old-fashioned” ideas – non electronic!

Take care of yourself, and remember to breathe!

“Every grain of experience is food for the greedy growing soul of the artist.”                       – Anthony Burgess