Category: Life

A Day Off

Sara MoserLeave a comment

Since quitting my full-time job in July, my life is my own. Or is it? What am I taking a day off from? (warning: this post evolved into total stream of consciousness!)

Starting from last Saturday, let’s take a look at my schedule for the past week, and most weeks. My 3 year old granddaughter stayed overnight with me Saturday, and again on Monday, while her mama worked. Thursday I spend with the now 6 month old twins. Tuesday evening is my Ayurvedic Spiritual Counseling course. I worked, albeit from home, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday, for a total of 18 hours.

Today, Friday, is the only day this week that I have nothing on my calendar. Not even a yoga class. So there you have it, a day off.

I always think I am going to “accomplish” big things when a day like this comes along. But what does that mean, anyway? I have in mind to get all my homework done, do some painting, do some writing, cook a delicious meal, go for a long walk, do laundry, clean the bathroom. I doubt if I’ll do all that, and I may do other things. It just feels good to have an entire blank slate of a day.

Right now it is the middle of the day and Robert is fixing lunch, some kind of garden veggie burgers, and vegetables and grains and it smells delicious! I guess if I’m going to cook it will be dinner!

wp-1484932347137.pngI got up at 6:45 and meditated.  Then I went back to bed for a bit. Got up and had tea, wrote in my journal, did some Yoga with Adriene, my favorite youtube yoga teacher. Ate my favorite breakfast of oatmeal with raisins, walnuts, and stewed apples. Took a shower and washed my hair. Threw some paint on a canvas, almost literally!

And I’ve been sitting here on the couch writing between doing laundry. I started a new blog this week, The Cat’s Advice – just for fun, check it out!

While we are on that subject, I also started Finding Ayurveda. It’s purpose is mostly for me to put together what I’ve learned into content that makes sense to people who don’t know anything about Ayurveda.

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Now it is after lunch, which is just as delicious as I expected. I sit here writing with my phone propped against the screen  skyping the aforesaid granddaughter. Lately, we’ve been doing this more frequently, just “hanging out” so her mama can have 30 minutes to do some organizing or whatever.  Precious time, precious child. I don’t post pictures of her at her mother’s request.

wp-1484942917585.jpgIn a little while, I will drive down to the nature trail and take a walk. Today it is a balmy 77 degrees, a beautiful summer like day in the middle of January.  Yeah I’m doing that instead of watching the inauguration. You’ll never find anything political here.

Whatever you do today, may you be happy and look for the good. Remember, whatever you put your attention on grows and strengthens.

Thanks for reading my blog!

A lot can happen in a year.

Sara MoserLeave a comment

I love Timehop. It would be so cool to have my whole life on it. Year by year, the journey unfolds. On Jan 3, I got the notification of what I wrote about 2015, and I thought wow, where has the time gone? So much has changed in the last few months that writing has been on the bottom of my list. But, here I am now!

New Year’s Eve, 2015: I was in a cottage in the country, drinking champagne and making intentions with my partner, Robert. I said I was going to leave behind “I can’t” and make having more compassion be my main intention. I believe I have been successful with the former and hope that I am making progress on the latter.

New Year’s Eve 2016: I was home, babysitting my three-year-old granddaughter while her now single mother worked. And Robert was also at work. Making intentions was the farthest thing from my mind. After the little one finally went to sleep, I was glad to just sit and watch a movie!

Caring for a young child twice weekly so her mother can make ends meet was not something I anticipated a year ago, or ever, for that matter. But, when circumstances change, what are you gonna do? Although at times it exhausts me, I am glad that I can be there for my daughter and have a special relationship with my granddaughter.

Speaking of grandchildren, 2016 brought me two more! The announcement came in early spring – my second oldest son and his wife were expecting twins! And they arrived, two healthy boys, in mid-July, right after I quit my job. And, with that freedom, I make a weekly 120 mile round trip across Houston to spend the day with them and give their parents a bit of a break. wp-1483928846636.jpg

In other very major news, Robert and I are now engaged! After three amazing years together, “in spite of it all and because of it all” (as he and I often say), we have taken this step of commitment. He asked me on November 29, on bent knees, and I said yes. I never thought I would want to marry again, but when I thought that, I hadn’t met Robert!wp-1484019838009.png

Then in early December, I got my birthday wish! I turned 60 and my deepest desire was to have all my children together. Robert threw me a wonderful party, and all seven of them were there,along with some of their spouses and all the grandchildren. It was quite a feat! My dear sister Ellen and her husband drove down to celebrate with us, and my closest friends were there as well. It was wonderful, marvelous, unforgettable!wp-1484019648440.pngwp-1484019669518.png

Biggest plan for 2017: we are going to move house. Going to go north of Houston, away from the city and the refineries I’ve lived by all my life. Going to where the air is cleaner, but close enough to the grandkids to continue the current relationships. It’s a leap of faith in many ways, but I’m ready for this next adventure!

I am continuing to study with New World Ayurveda, and applying what I know to my life and sharing with family and friends as much as they are interested and want to know. I  will finish this course in April and take another trip up to Maine for the final intensive. Robert is in this class too, so will travel with me. With the completion of the course, I will be qualified not only as an Ayurvedic Practitioner, but I will also be a Spiritual Counselor and meditation teacher. Since I am also certified and registered as a yoga teacher, I feel a sense of pride in accumulating these credentials over the last two years.

But since the priorities of my life have shifted unexpectedly, I haven’t started a practice as I had expected. And I feel ok about it, and whatever else may change. I am blessed to be able to work part-time from home doing medical reviews right now, because there’s just too much going on right now for me to start a business!

As I was readying the little one for bed tonight, and taking some time to hold and cuddle her, I was reminded that this is what is important. Just being, and loving, not always doing.

The message I have received in my spirit – my intention, my vision for this year and beyond:

 Whatever choices I make on the path of life, as long as love reigns over all, nothing else really matters.

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5 ways to increase intimacy with humor

Sara MoserLeave a comment

Pillow Fight

What do you do when you get in an argument with your partner?

Do you keep trying to prove your point, keep trying to get them to see it your way? Do you have to convince the other that you are right? And where does that get you?

As someone who has been married and divorced twice, I am here to tell you that none of that works. I used to HAVE to be right. I HAD to get my point across. The other NEEDED to agree with me. EVERYTHING was a serious matter. And where did that get me? (Crying alot, for one thing!)

Sure, you have to have a compatible sense of humor. And I’m not talking about sarcasm and putting the other down and calling that funny. I’m not talking about laughing at the serious things of life. It’s the little things that eat away at a relationship, and it is in those moments that lightheartedness can turn things around.

Some examples of stuff to laugh about instead of arguing: he doesn’t load the dishwasher “right”, she’s always losing her phone, he’s directionally challenged and tends to take wrong turns, she’s not a good cook. Nobody is perfect or has all the skills. Add the busyness of life, tiredness, and control issues, and you have the setting for a boiling fight or a lot of belly laughs! And we all know laughter is better.

  1. Start by laughing at yourself, especially when you find yourself taking things too seriously.
  2. When you catch yourself getting into one of those fruitless arguments, step back and look at it as if you were watching a comedy.
  3. When you realize that you are arguing over something that doesn’t really matter, just stop. Kiss your partner. Start a pillow fight or tickle fest.
  4. Be spontaneous. Look for ways to surprise your partner. Make sure it’s the kind of surprise you know they like! Again, little things, like a back scratching or a little unexpected act of service, can make a huge difference, especially if acccompanied by affection and laughter.
  5. Do fun things! Learn what kind of entertainment/movies makes the other laugh, then seek it out and laugh with them. They should do the same.

Admittedly these will only work if both partners are on board. If one person is determined to sabotage, argue, and destroy, it is time for the other to consider what is important and what they really, really want. But if both of you can laugh at yourselves and at life, the power struggle that most of us struggle with will be diffused.

Instead of throwing angry words or objects, throw pillows!

 

Coffee in a college town

Sara MoserLeave a comment

wp-1464611943472.jpegI’m sitting  here at Java Jack’s in Nacogdoches, drinking a latte and eating a vegetarian croissant. I always seem to find a good coffee shop wherever I am. This one is in a geodesic dome, has an upstairs and a really good vibe. Perfect for this college town.

I’m here to help my youngest daughter move. We spent yesterday going in and out, up and down. For her senior year she’s moving from a first floor two bedroom to a studio, which just happens to be up a hill and second floor. And it was HOT! My fitbit tells me I walked nearly 7 miles, and I feel it. It was a good workout, though!

We got everything out yesterday, so this morning, before I head back to H-town, will be spent in unpacking and putting away what we can. Inside in the air conditioning, so it won’t be a sweaty endeavor like yesterday. However, her new place is packed with boxes, and some of this stuff has got to go!

She has a lot of clothes and things she’s collected from her favorite hobby, thrift store shopping. I’m hoping we find her silverware and some food staples today, among other necessities.

This is an eye-opening experience for her- to see how much stuff one can accumulate in a short time. Since she plans to move to another city in a year, she has a directive from MOM (me).  1) Stop shopping! 2) every day put one or two items (or more) in a box to give away. Easy for me to say, I know. She’ll thank me, next year.

 

Plans, time, and intentions

Sara Moser5 Comments

wp-1454259597628.jpegI have been writing in my Penzu journal quite a bit, and have let the blogging go. The last couple of evenings I wrote longhand, reflecting on my day and planning for the next. Usually the planning is way too much. I have so much I want to do. Blogging is one of those things, so here I am!

I am often struck by profound thoughts and I think, wow, I could write about that! Then something else demands my attention and that thought drifts away. So I decided, this beautiful Sunday morning, to sit here and write about whatever comes to mind.

January has flown. After all the traveling and days off in December, I put my nose back to the grindstone and haven’t taken any time off from my “day job”. I have had plenty of opportunities to show compassion, to listen, and at times even to empathize with the people at the hospital who are in crisis. I am grateful for those opportunities.

I made a decision to deepen my Ayurvedic studies by joining the live online class instead of the independent study. I love the topic and the coursework, and had come to a point where it was time to participate in the first Clinical Intensive. I realized that I felt too scattered, and fitting it in around my work schedule, social activities, and visiting with my granddaughter wasn’t the best plan for me. So I talked with my teacher/mentor, and am now dedicated to the weekly class, and will be traveling to Portland, Maine the first week in April. I am very excited!

Another thing that has affected me, this past week, is that my father is in the hospital. He is almost 88, and his health has been failing, so this isn’t surprising. He’s in the hospital I work at, so the blessing is that I got to go see him. I haven’t seen him in over a year, due to the deep rift that his wife of five years has caused, keeping my siblings and I from being involved in his life. I wrote a long letter to him last year, and if you want to know the details it is published in two parts, here and here.

My next to youngest child turned 22 a couple of days ago. He lives in Massachussetts, is happy in his life with his partner and his cats, living out in the country. My hope as a parent is that all my children find love and happiness, as well as independence. Better that than wealth with loneliness and sorrow.

I like to think that I have some control over my perception of time, like not getting in a hurry and that sort of thing. But when I look back at my life, and raising my children, all grown now, much of it is like a vapor. Thinking about three years ago, just finally having freed myself from a very difficult marriage, and all that has happened since then, I am amazed. Looking back 20 years, to the birth of my youngest child and what has happened in her relatively short life – it is hard to believe.

Speaking of amazing — I’m going to be a grandmother, again! My second oldest son and his wife announced this month that they are going to be parents – of TWINS! Talk about uncertainty there! Embrace the unexpected, right? They will be wonderful parents.

Do you set intentions? I do all the time!

Lake morningToday, I have the intentions of finishing and publishing this post, walking outside in the sunshine, cooking a nutritious lunch, putting paint on a canvas, and spending the evening with some friends celebrating a birthday.

This week, I intend to show compassion to everyone I meet,  do some yoga at least 3 times, take a couple of long walks, study and practice ayurveda, spend time with people I love either on the phone or in person, and eat fresh nutritious food. I intend to write and paint, too!

What are your intentions? What are you grateful for?