Crisp fall morning
Cat chasing squirrel
Smell of pines
Crisp fall morning
Cat chasing squirrel
Smell of pines
My mind is a wanderer, taking me to the past or future. In this moment, early Saturday morning, I sit on the back porch in the not quite oppressive humidity, listening to the birds, enjoying my coffee and considering going inside because of the occasional mosquito. I close my eyes for a moment, letting my mind go where it will.
I think about the past week at work, the first week since my coworker left so my work load has doubled, and consider alternatives. I miss working at home, yet I do like being out in the world with people. And no matter the challenges of the workday, I leave on time and leave it all behind until the next day, and everything is all right.
I think about the upcoming move, ready for it to happen, yet willing my mind back to this moment – the beauty of the forest of trees behind the back fence, the birds singing, the enjoyment of the coffee, and the love of my husband and family always with me. And everything is all right.
I think about all the scary things happening in the world, the rifts that political and moral ideations cause. I am concerned about what is happening to our planet because of the disregard and carelessness of people, especially wondering how there will ever be a stop to the addiction to single-use plastics that is literally killing the planet. And wonder if everything will ever be all right.
In this moment, I experience a multitude of thoughts and emotions, and knowing that they are intangible, I watch them float by. More come along, some the same, some different. Some stay constant, some are there for just a moment. There are attempts by some of the less desirable to stick and cause distress, but as I become aware of them, I say hello and goodbye. I hold on to the good, and release that which does not serve me well. And, in this moment, in my little inner world, everything is all right.
I can ponder and reminisce, plan for future dreams, worry about the future, yet, in reality, all I have is this moment.
Ah, May. These first few days, at least here on the Gulf Coast, are when you know it’s fixing to be super steamy humid hot, so you really really enjoy that last bit of cool weather. Today is like that. I sat by the lake this morning, enjoying the 60 degree air, wondering where all the pelicans are that frequented this pier just last fall. I suppose they are busy with nesting or raising their babies, and will be back here later this year. I also love looking at the reflections on the water, and all the fish jumping. A few ducks and gulls flew by, but that was it. The morning was quiet, disturbed only by a small motor boat in a hurry to get somewhere else. The fisherman nearby wasn’t too happy about that.
April was fairly uneventful. I dove into my studies, and am really enjoying the things I’m learning about Ayurveda. I had a misconception that Ayurveda was eastern medicine that uses plants and food for healing. Actually, it is consciousness based, knowledge of truth and life (that’s what ayurveda means). It is the science of how nature works, and that science is universal. It’s about really knowing what is happening in a person’s being and addressing all the layers, not just the physical. I’m loving it!
I “read” (listened to) Super Brain. Fascinating stuff, about how to use our brain as a gateway for achieving health, happiness, and spiritual growth. Gave me lots to think about, if you’ll excuse the pun!
We took another trip to Caddo Lake, near Uncertain. Here’s what I wrote about that place after our visit last July. This time, we mostly stayed in or close by the cabin, just enjoying connecting with nature. Still couldn’t get the great blue heron to pose for a picture!
Coming up for me in May – I decided last month to make a trip to Ames, Iowa, to visit my daughter. This after a mini reunion with all my Texas kids – 3 here in the Houston area, one coming in from Austin and another from Nacogdoches. I’m always very happy to spend time with my children. The only one I won’t get to see this month is my son in Massachusetts, but I’ve got the wheels turning in my brain for a New England trip in the fall.
And today? I’m gonna spend it at home, a rare treat, it seems. I’ve got the windows open, no particular plans….I’d like to finish the painting I’ve been working on, read a bit, learn something new…Maybe just sit in the sun for a bit.
I opened the windows last night because the air inside felt stagnant. After all the rain we’ve had, it warmed enough to be comfortable. This morning there is fog, and some kind of floating plant matter in the lake. I can hear the birds, but don’t see them. Feeling the cool air, wrapped in my fuzzy blanket – it’s almost like having a patio! The air inside is fresh again.
I had joined a group on meetup and was going to go running with them this morning. If I hadn’t changed my mind last night, I’d be there right now. But I had the realization that those days are over. I don’t want to injure my body again. I pushed it to its limits and last year it protested with a back injury, and with gentle yoga and moderate walking I am finally pain free. Why would I put myself in the position of reinjuring myself, my body seemed to ask me? So here I sit, my body softer, but happier, enjoying the morning. I’ll do my yoga in a bit.
I was determined to finish A Woman’s Book of Life, and I did, last night. This book is amazing, as it traces a woman’s life from birth to death. I needed to read it at this time in my life. As a result of this read, I am more okay with my life as it has been, and more accepting of my own aging. At 58, I am considered “elderly” by the younger generation, and I am going to embrace the uncertainty of what that might mean. I am studying new things, learning to trust my intuition in new ways, and, on the physical plane, trying to let my crazy graying hair be what it is, which in a way is more challenging than anything else!
I listened to the first part of the first lecture of my new class with New World Ayurveda. The main thing I learned is that ayurveda is consciousness based healing. This is so exciting to me. As I’ve mentioned, I am a nurse working in a hospital and it is a revolving door for so many with chronic illness. Traditional western medicine only looks at the body, then divides the body into parts. Thus we have all the specialty areas, and doctors focusing down to just one organ, and prescribing a pill which will only manage symptoms. I am excited to be learning to look at the person as more than just a body.
Last night, we watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The first one, not the current one in theaters. Excellent, fun, movie! I wonder if part 2 is as good.
Today, I will spend some time with my sweetheart, Robert. It’s a beautiful day, so perhaps we’ll go to the park and sit in the sun. I want to paint a bit, read, and see how life unfolds.