Tag: uncertainty

Tropical storm

Sara Moser4 Comments

As I sit writing, it is raining torrentially. There is a tropical storm visiting that goes by the name of Bill.wpid-screenshot_2015-06-17-06-37-112.jpg.jpeg

I’ve lived on the Gulf Coast all my life and hurricane watching from June to November is just something we do around here. They are unpredictable for sure. Yesterday we were supposed to get loads of rain with possible heavy flooding and people were advised to stay home, schools and universities were closed. Didn’t happen here.

The rain was happening further south, and we had alot of wind. I made it to work and back without issue. We didn’t lose power or have flooding. This morning is a different story! I will take a change of clothes and shoes with me as I set out to work, and hope that I can find my way around the water. The route I take will definitely have flooded, closed areas!

Another day, another adventure, always uncertainty!

 

Thoughts on Meditation

Sara Moser1 Comment

As I continue my meditation practice, and especially while traveling, more insights came to me about what meditation is and is not. It can be a bit challenging to keep up a regular practice while traveling, and a key concept is to not judge yourself. Travel is glorious and disruptive at the same time, so the idea is to do the best you can to stay “grounded”, and meditation can help in this area.

I recently had a conversation with someone who said she hadn’t been able to commit to meditation, even though she thinks it’s probably pretty great, because she doubts if she can clear her mind of thoughts.  I think that’s a  common misconception. Maybe advanced meditators can do that, but that is definitely not my experience! Someone else I talked to said “I’ve just got to keep doing it until my mind goes!” She seemed to be trying too hard. It’s not about the mind going somewhere else, or having no thoughts at all.

Back when I was a conservative fundamentalist Christian I had a long list of things that were bad, or even evil. Meditation was one of them, because the belief was that you make your mind blank and as a result you open yourself up to evil spirits who can come in and possess you. I really believed that, which now amazes me. Back then, I embraced dogmatism rather than allow uncertainty into my life. I am happy to report that I was wrong, and if I can meditate, anyone can.

One way to experience meditation is to realize that it is basically sitting with yourself. There are different techniques, and although it is helpful to have a teacher, it is not absolutely necessary. I use a mantra based on when and where I was born. The mantra is an anchor, or you can use your breath. I focus on it, but inevitably my mind drifts to — you got it, thoughts! Then after a bit I realize I’m thinking, so back to the mantra. There’s no striving, just gentle drifting back and forth. Definitely not blankness, but occasionally there is an awareness of being somewhere else, so to speak. It’s difficult for me to describe. And I must admit that I sometimes relax so much that I nod off to sleep!

It is worth it to make a commitment, to take the time, to truly sit with yourself and to allow whatever is inside you to surface. Then you get up and go about your business. Over time, you will see a difference in your responses to life’s frustrations, and people will say, what have you done with yourself? Because you will develop a different countenance and demeanor. This huffington post article about the benefits of meditation is fascinating, and has before and after pictures.

As you practice sitting in meditation letting whatever happens inside happen, without judgment, you will gradually find yourself letting go of old mental and emotional patterns. You will find freedom from that which doesn’t serve you well, and you will find new ways of peacefully embracing life as it unfolds.

Iowa day 4 – going home, musings, and a little history

Sara Moser2 Comments

Today I head home. Rachel and Geoff left for church around 9:30, and I departed shortly afterward. The train that was passing when I left was a double decker, which stopped for a few minutes, then started backwards. I wonder what that was all about.

I decided that I couldn’t leave town without visiting Cafe Diem one more time. Their coffee is really good, and I wanted another waffle. It is a good place to hang out and write. I had originally thought to drive into Des Moines and find a coffee shop there, but the warm and friendly atmosphere here beckoned me to come inside.

After I ate my delicious waffle, I spent a little time browsing around looking at travel blogs, and all the ones I found are to exotic faraway places. My little trip to Ames pales in comparison in some respects, but I am of the opinion that everywhere is interesting. Here’s a little information about this quaint midwest city, from Wikipedia:

The city was founded in 1864 as a station stop on the Cedar Rapids and Missouri Railroad and was named after 19th century U.S. Congressman Oakes Ames of Massachusetts, who was influential in the building of the transcontinental railroad. Ames was founded by local resident Cynthia Olive Duff  and railroad magnate John Insley Blair,near a location that was deemed favorable for a railroad crossing of the Skunk River.

Ames is also the home of Iowa State University, whose campus takes up a major part of the city proper, and whose mascot can be found around town in various attire. This mirror mosaic version on Main Street is my favorite!

 

Writing while I wait in the Des Moines airport…

 I love to take back roads, when I have time, so I took the opportunity. Miles and miles and miles of newly planted cornfields flew past me. I marveled at the wide open spaces, and the big sky. Very mind clearing and heart opening. Along the way, I got a phone call that my flight was delayed 45 min. So I got here with time to spare, still feeling pretty relaxed.
Announcement overhead: They need 12 volunteers to check their carry on bags or they will check boarding group 4’s bags. I’m in boarding group 4, and I want to hang on to my bag! If I didn’t have a connection I’d check it, but I don’t trust the airline to care about my stuff and get it moved to the right plane.
Another announcement: The flight is overbooked and they need 6 volunteers to take a later flight. Are you kidding me? Does this happen all the time? Seems crazy to me. What do they do if no one volunteers? Draw straws?
Now at Dallas Fort Worth Airport….
No rushing this time. Google just notified me that my connecting flight is delayed 2 hours!!

Obviously, I made it onto the plane and they didn’t confiscate my bag. I was imagining myself wrestling someone over it, and am very glad that fantasy didn’t come to pass! I had a window seat this time, so I got to see the farmland from the air, and later the beautiful changing clouds as we flew above them. I was very hungry when I got here, glad for some time to rest and recoup. I got a veggie burger at a place called UFood Grill. It had to be the worst veggie burger ever. I only ate a few bites, but the baked potato fries were a little better, so I ate enough of them to ease my hunger pangs. Airport food, yuk. By this time I was feeling very imbalanced, shaky, and tired.

So I decided to sit right there in the middle of the busy airport and meditate. I wrapped my silk shawl around me (I had read that silk can keep negative energy away), put one hand on my suitcase, closed my eyes, and went inward. It was an interesting endeavor, and 20 minutes later I opened my eyes feeling more grounded and alert.
Checking google on my phone, I found that my flight is delayed even more, not leaving here until 10:12 pm, arriving in Houston at 11:30. Then I have to get my car, and drive the 30 min home.
I again observe the people around me. Young, old, all shapes and sizes, some rushing frantically to catch their next flight, others taking their time, or just sitting. People on their phones. I wonder about their stories. I see a team of adolescent girls all dressed alike, most likely returning home from a tournament . There are couples, friends, family groups, lone travelers like me. Some are traveling for a happy visit, or a wedding, some for a funeral. This is an international airport, so I see a diverse crowd and hear snatches of different languages.

The masses of humanity are everywhere. Tomorrow I return to work, to the patients and coworkers who are a part of it all too. Everywhere there is life, hope, and heartbreak. I am glad to be on this journey, one soul touching other souls.

Epilogue:
The plane didn’t take off from Dallas until midnight. Delay after delay until I was too tired to care, or write, or even sleep. I finally got home to my sweetie at 2 am! I am very glad I made this trip, and reconnected with my daughter. It’s been a long time since we had one on one time.

Uninspired

Sara Moser7 Comments

I’ve felt uninspired lately.

I haven’t even been journaling as much. I sit to write and it sounds like the same stuff over and over. Additionally, I haven’t been making much time to read other blogs, even though there are several writers I really enjoy. On top of that, I haven’t painted or taken many pictures lately. Everything just seems sorta blah.

Every so often I’ll get on wordpress, read a few posts, and wonder how people write so much, some every day. I periodically wonder why I started a blog in the first place. Oh yeah! I thought I had something to say that was inspiring. Then I got all into Blogging 101 and Photography 101 and following other blogs and hoping people would follow mine. Now I look at the list of blogs I follow and I don’t have time to read all that.  I’m not getting new followers lately — but hey! I haven’t been writing much. Would just like the stats to say woohoo! you’ve reached xxxx followers.

Sigh. That’s bullshit. That’s no reason to write, or paint, or any other pursuit.  If, in the course of writing, I put something out there and someone truly finds inspiration, great. If not, I’ve expressed myself. This is what all the great writers and painters say- do it for yourself first. So if I don’t have anything for awhile, that’s ok. I’ll read and study and travel, and be curious about everything.

So. New resolution. Stop being so concerned about putting up a blog post for the sake of putting up a blog post.  And when in the course of  the journey of life inspiration comes, go for it, in whatever form it takes.

May Musings

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ReflectionsAh, May. These first few days, at least here on the Gulf Coast, are when you know it’s fixing to be super steamy humid hot, so you really really enjoy that last bit of cool weather. Today is like that. I sat by the lake this morning, enjoying the 60 degree air, wondering where all the pelicans are that frequented this pier just last fall. I suppose they are busy with nesting or raising their babies, and will be back here later this year. I also love looking at the reflections on the water, and all the fish jumping.   A few ducks and gulls flew by, but that was it. The morning was quiet, disturbed only by a small motor boat in a hurry to get somewhere else. The fisherman nearby wasn’t too happy about that.

April was fairly uneventful. I dove into my studies, and am really enjoying the things I’m learning about Ayurveda. I had  a misconception that Ayurveda was eastern medicine that uses plants and food for healing. Actually, it is consciousness based, knowledge of truth and life (that’s what ayurveda means). It is the science of how nature works, and that science is universal.  It’s about really knowing what is happening in a person’s being and addressing all the layers, not just the physical. I’m loving it!

I “read” (listened to) Super Brain. Fascinating stuff, about how to use our brain as a gateway for achieving health, happiness, and spiritual growth. Gave me lots to think about, if you’ll excuse the pun!

We took another trip to Caddo Lake, near Uncertain. Here’s what I wrote about that place after our visit last July. This time, we mostly stayed in or close by the cabin, just enjoying connecting with nature. Still couldn’t get the great blue heron to pose for a picture!

Coming up for me in May – I decided last month to make a trip to Ames, Iowa, to visit my daughter. This after a mini reunion with all my Texas kids – 3 here in the Houston area, one coming in from Austin and another from Nacogdoches. I’m always very happy to spend time with my children.  The only one I won’t get to see this month is my son in Massachusetts, but I’ve got the wheels turning in my brain for a New England trip in the fall.

And today? I’m gonna spend it at home, a rare treat, it seems. I’ve got the windows open, no particular plans….I’d like to finish the painting I’ve been working on, read a bit, learn something new…Maybe just sit in the sun for a bit.