Tag: uncertainty

It’s February!

Sara Moser8 Comments

Here in southeast Texas it is 60 degrees. The temp is expected to climb into the 70’s this afternoon, then rain and a cold front, down in the 40’s tonight. This is my early morning lake view – if you look closely you can see the little coots.

wpid-wp-1422798690970.jpeg

Looking back at the first month of the year objectively (if that is possible!) I am pleased with myself. I set some reading goals for myself  and finished the first book in about 3 weeks. Additionally, I finished Having our Say and returned it to the wine bar down the street. Setting a goal of only five books in a year may not seem like much, but I had gotten so out of the habit of reading that I  wanted to be realistic.  Now that I finished not one, but two books in under a month, I will likely add a few more to my list.

I posted here 13 times. I’ve thought about trying to write here every day and decided against it. I wrote a cathartic letter to my father, wrote from prompts a few times, and put up a couple of pictures I particularly liked. I have added several blogs to those I follow, and am enjoying interaction with some of you who follow me. (And I thank you for reading!) During November when I was partaking in Blogging 101 and Photography 101 it was exciting to see the numbers going up on my stats page. This past month I decided to pay less attention to that and continue my original purpose, which was and is to push past the fear of uncertainty and explore my voice and inner creativity.

I painted this picture:

wpid-20150131_0805352.jpg.jpeg

Although not entirely original, because I followed instructions from a book on acrylic painting, it is my own result, I learned some new techniques, and am very proud of it.

Other things I have done this month: Continued meditation, twice daily. Improved my eating habits. Committed to yoga class twice a week, for at least 3 months. Started walking outside more, as weather permits. Got Reiki 1 certification.

Goals for February: Keep showing up! Read, write, paint, draw. Practice kindness.

JUST FOR TODAY (reiki principles)

I will let go of worry

I will let go of anger

I will do my work honestly

I will give thanks for my many blessings

I will be kind to every living thing

************************************************************************************

Creating a featured post

Sara Moser5 Comments

I have been writing in my journal a lot lately. I call it mush, but it seems to keep me sane.

My journal is entirely private, and I wouldn’t ever want to post it publicly. Back in the old days when I wrote in notebooks, I would never keep them for long for fear that someone else would read what I wrote. Now I write “securely” online in my Penzu journal. There’s this litte bit of uncertainty that it is not really private, but I’m taking the chance!  I write about my daily life, or my kids, or how great my boyfriend is, or the stories I make up about what I think other people are thinking. It includes alot of emotional out-letting, kind of like a good cry.

What does this have to do with writing a featured post, you may ask? Time. If I’m writing in my journal, then I’m not writing something to publish, although it is often a catalyst to  something I want to share. The featured post idea comes from Blogging 101, which I haven’t ended up participating in so much after all.  And since I am, after all, Embracing Uncertainty, I hesitate to announce that I will consistently have a piece on a particular day of the week or month. That would be too certain.

I wrote the above a few days ago. Here it is Saturday morning, January 31. It’s been a crazy busy week at work. Some say it is because of a full moon, or Mercury is in retrograde.  I think life is just like that sometimes, and we don’t always know why. The lull will come.

I’m enjoying my coffee in my favorite cup with my favorite “Advice from a Dragonfly” on it.

Spend time near the water

Be colorful

Enjoy a good reed

Zoom in on your dreams

Keep your eyes open!

JUST WING IT!

And that is the conclusion of the matter. In the uncertain future, I have plans for other blogs, poetry, books, and perhaps a featured post. For now, I will be gloriously and consistently inconsistent and random, fluttering here and there and everywhere like my friend the dragonfly.

Musings

Sara Moser6 Comments

If there is anything certain in life, it is that something will change. Kind of like the weather. Two days ago we had near freezing gloomy rain, and today it is beautiful and sunny, around 70 degrees.

Take this blog, and my reasons for writing, for example.  At the beginning of January I was determined that I was going to check in on my assignment for Blogging 101 every day and really improve what I am doing here. But I have only done a couple of the assignments. I keep playing around with the theme and widgets, and I think I’m finally happy with it. I do wish I could figure out how to insert a picture and text next to it as well as above or below it. Is there anyone reading who can help me with that?

I started thinking that I’m finding my voice and doing ok with writing, then I read this post about all the terrible writing that is appearing on the internet and was sure that she’s talking about me.(She also has some suggestions for some really good reads. )The same day someone nominated me for an award so I felt a bit better. But decided against accepting or getting involved in it due to the process required.

I was frustrated with myself this past week because I had nothing to write about. I felt tired and was crying for no apparent reason. Then I realized that I had expended a great deal of emotional energy writing the letter to my father, and deciding to post it here rather than actually mail it to him. Additionally, I am grieving the loss of the possibility of the kind of relationship I had hoped to have with him.

I’m trying to find the perfect balance of work, family, healthy eating and exercise, creative pursuits, writing, and occasionally traveling. I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing here. I don’t want to just try to get readers, I want to have something meaningful to say. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by it all. That is when I remember to draw myself back into the moment and think about all that I have to be grateful for.

It’s Sunday night, and I will be back in the work-a-day world tomorrow morning. I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, plenty of food, lots of love to give and receive. Moment by moment I will look for opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life, by a kind word or deed.

May your week be all that you want it to be, whatever you put your hand to do!

Letter to my father (part 1)

Sara Moser2 Comments

Blogging 101 suggested that I write to my “dream reader” and put a different twist on how I write. My dream reader would be someone who is interested in what I have to say and gives me some sort of validation. So I wrote this in a letter to my father. He is nearly 87 and in poor health, and although what I have written is what I would actually like to say, I probably won’t send it. There would be no validation, and would likely cause sorrow. 

Sara and Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I am writing to you because I need to say some things to you. I’ve called a few times since the incident in September but I just can’t find it in me to visit after what happened. I think about you every day.

Before I get to the hard stuff, I want to thank you for giving me a great childhood. We lived in a nice house and had everything we needed and more. We had the BEST vacations of anyone I know. I often recount some of the adventures we had. The most memorable ones for me were camping in arizona when Jeff was a baby and you broke your leg, horseback riding in Wyoming and catching all those fish, and the best of all, although I didn’t appreciate it as a 12 year old, was the year we went to Minnesota and took that 4 day primitive canoe trip. I know Ellen and I gave you a lot of grief on that trip! But we are now glad for all those good times.

Remember how you would take the three of us girls fishing? I was too impatient to sit there and hold a pole, but didn’t mind putting earthworms on the hooks for my sisters. So it all worked out. You taught me how to clean a fish, and by example you and mother taught us a lot about how to get by, and then took us back to live at ease for the rest of the year.

When I was a senior in high school, you helped me figure out what path to pursue. I am very grateful that you made me make a choice, and that I went to nursing school. Even though I didn’t work for a lot of years while my kids were small, I was able to get a job easily and have a good income.

The worst thing that ever happened to our family was losing Laura. But we held together and went on.

There are a lot more memories. I just want you to know that I am grateful for the life you and Mother gave me, and for the monetary gifts you gave me through the years.

Now comes the part that is really difficult for me to say.

…to be continued

 

Who am I and why am I here?

Sara Moser3 Comments

I signed up for Blogging 101 for the second time. I figure I can keep learning and evolving. I’m thrilled if you are reading this and delighted if you are “following” me.  Here are some “assignment” questions that I thought I’d try to answer, for myself at least as much as anyone reading this.

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

Great questions for all of us, right?

I keep a personal journal at penzu.com. I’ve been writing there for about 3 years and it is a place that is completely private.  I write  stuff there just to get it out and sort it out, but I don’t want anyone else to read it, it’s a lot of mush. Additionally, I get emails from Penzu that say “you wrote this a year ago” and it is interesting to see how my life has changed in that period.   I started blogging in addition to journaling because I began to believe that I have a message, something of value to share with others.

My first blog post had a good deal to do with getting through a wall of fear and the uncertainty of life. Thus the name of my blog was right there, I didn’t have to give it much thought. Then I really didn’t know what I was going to write about or how often, but with a title like Embracing Uncertainty I realized that that is a great part of my message. So really I write about whatever is on my mind, and post photographs, mostly having to do with the lake I live by and sunrises or sunsets, like this picture I took tonight.

fisherman in kayak

Although I haven’t yet written about politics or current events, that may happen. I have touched on family, spirituality, creativity, and personal growth, and connected with quite a variety of bloggers. After 6 months I am just beginning to feel a part of the “blogosphere” which is really quite different from social media like facebook or twitter. I’m happy to connect with anyone who wants to connect with me.

The last question is a bit difficult. I’m not sure what it means to blog successfully. Maybe it means that I am consistent and that people read and sometimes comment on what I write about. I don’t have a business that I’m trying to promote here – I just want to share what I have learned and am learning in life, and read about other people’s lives and opinions and experiences. And share photographs.

I thought I would only be writing occasionally, but have found that I really enjoy this, and am more often than not considering what I will write next.  Thanks for being with me on the journey!

PS. I have updated my About Me page.