Creating a featured post

I have been writing in my journal a lot lately. I call it mush, but it seems to keep me sane.

My journal is entirely private, and I wouldn’t ever want to post it publicly. Back in the old days when I wrote in notebooks, I would never keep them for long for fear that someone else would read what I wrote. Now I write “securely” online in my Penzu journal. There’s this litte bit of uncertainty that it is not really private, but I’m taking the chance!  I write about my daily life, or my kids, or how great my boyfriend is, or the stories I make up about what I think other people are thinking. It includes alot of emotional out-letting, kind of like a good cry.

What does this have to do with writing a featured post, you may ask? Time. If I’m writing in my journal, then I’m not writing something to publish, although it is often a catalyst to  something I want to share. The featured post idea comes from Blogging 101, which I haven’t ended up participating in so much after all.  And since I am, after all, Embracing Uncertainty, I hesitate to announce that I will consistently have a piece on a particular day of the week or month. That would be too certain.

I wrote the above a few days ago. Here it is Saturday morning, January 31. It’s been a crazy busy week at work. Some say it is because of a full moon, or Mercury is in retrograde.  I think life is just like that sometimes, and we don’t always know why. The lull will come.

I’m enjoying my coffee in my favorite cup with my favorite “Advice from a Dragonfly” on it.

Spend time near the water

Be colorful

Enjoy a good reed

Zoom in on your dreams

Keep your eyes open!

JUST WING IT!

And that is the conclusion of the matter. In the uncertain future, I have plans for other blogs, poetry, books, and perhaps a featured post. For now, I will be gloriously and consistently inconsistent and random, fluttering here and there and everywhere like my friend the dragonfly.

Musings

If there is anything certain in life, it is that something will change. Kind of like the weather. Two days ago we had near freezing gloomy rain, and today it is beautiful and sunny, around 70 degrees.

Take this blog, and my reasons for writing, for example.  At the beginning of January I was determined that I was going to check in on my assignment for Blogging 101 every day and really improve what I am doing here. But I have only done a couple of the assignments. I keep playing around with the theme and widgets, and I think I’m finally happy with it. I do wish I could figure out how to insert a picture and text next to it as well as above or below it. Is there anyone reading who can help me with that?

I started thinking that I’m finding my voice and doing ok with writing, then I read this post about all the terrible writing that is appearing on the internet and was sure that she’s talking about me.(She also has some suggestions for some really good reads. )The same day someone nominated me for an award so I felt a bit better. But decided against accepting or getting involved in it due to the process required.

I was frustrated with myself this past week because I had nothing to write about. I felt tired and was crying for no apparent reason. Then I realized that I had expended a great deal of emotional energy writing the letter to my father, and deciding to post it here rather than actually mail it to him. Additionally, I am grieving the loss of the possibility of the kind of relationship I had hoped to have with him.

I’m trying to find the perfect balance of work, family, healthy eating and exercise, creative pursuits, writing, and occasionally traveling. I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing here. I don’t want to just try to get readers, I want to have something meaningful to say. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by it all. That is when I remember to draw myself back into the moment and think about all that I have to be grateful for.

It’s Sunday night, and I will be back in the work-a-day world tomorrow morning. I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, plenty of food, lots of love to give and receive. Moment by moment I will look for opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life, by a kind word or deed.

May your week be all that you want it to be, whatever you put your hand to do!

Pen in hand

Daily prompt Pens and Pencils 

When was the last time you wrote something substantive — a letter, a story, a journal entry, etc. — by hand? Could you ever imagine returning to a pre-keyboard era?

I used to keep handwritten journals. I’ve thrown most of them away, because I don’t want anyone to read them even when I’m dead. I keep an online journal now.

Last summer I wrote longhand in a notebook for a couple of months, morning pages, and one day when I was writing I was so inspired that I started this blog! I kept it up for a bit, but went back to penzu because it is completely private. Sometimes I will write in a notebook but it is rare.

Certainly I can imagine returning to a pre – keyboard era. I think it would be harder for younger people who can barely remember those days. It would be strange though, and probably seem very tedious.

I like typing on the computer. It is easier to edit, change, save, and I process just as easily both ways. I am very happy to have this technology, just wish I could navigate WordPress more easily!

Letter to my father (part 1)

Blogging 101 suggested that I write to my “dream reader” and put a different twist on how I write. My dream reader would be someone who is interested in what I have to say and gives me some sort of validation. So I wrote this in a letter to my father. He is nearly 87 and in poor health, and although what I have written is what I would actually like to say, I probably won’t send it. There would be no validation, and would likely cause sorrow. 

Sara and Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I am writing to you because I need to say some things to you. I’ve called a few times since the incident in September but I just can’t find it in me to visit after what happened. I think about you every day.

Before I get to the hard stuff, I want to thank you for giving me a great childhood. We lived in a nice house and had everything we needed and more. We had the BEST vacations of anyone I know. I often recount some of the adventures we had. The most memorable ones for me were camping in arizona when Jeff was a baby and you broke your leg, horseback riding in Wyoming and catching all those fish, and the best of all, although I didn’t appreciate it as a 12 year old, was the year we went to Minnesota and took that 4 day primitive canoe trip. I know Ellen and I gave you a lot of grief on that trip! But we are now glad for all those good times.

Remember how you would take the three of us girls fishing? I was too impatient to sit there and hold a pole, but didn’t mind putting earthworms on the hooks for my sisters. So it all worked out. You taught me how to clean a fish, and by example you and mother taught us a lot about how to get by, and then took us back to live at ease for the rest of the year.

When I was a senior in high school, you helped me figure out what path to pursue. I am very grateful that you made me make a choice, and that I went to nursing school. Even though I didn’t work for a lot of years while my kids were small, I was able to get a job easily and have a good income.

The worst thing that ever happened to our family was losing Laura. But we held together and went on.

There are a lot more memories. I just want you to know that I am grateful for the life you and Mother gave me, and for the monetary gifts you gave me through the years.

Now comes the part that is really difficult for me to say.

…to be continued

 

Who am I and why am I here?

I signed up for Blogging 101 for the second time. I figure I can keep learning and evolving. I’m thrilled if you are reading this and delighted if you are “following” me.  Here are some “assignment” questions that I thought I’d try to answer, for myself at least as much as anyone reading this.

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

Great questions for all of us, right?

I keep a personal journal at penzu.com. I’ve been writing there for about 3 years and it is a place that is completely private.  I write  stuff there just to get it out and sort it out, but I don’t want anyone else to read it, it’s a lot of mush. Additionally, I get emails from Penzu that say “you wrote this a year ago” and it is interesting to see how my life has changed in that period.   I started blogging in addition to journaling because I began to believe that I have a message, something of value to share with others.

My first blog post had a good deal to do with getting through a wall of fear and the uncertainty of life. Thus the name of my blog was right there, I didn’t have to give it much thought. Then I really didn’t know what I was going to write about or how often, but with a title like Embracing Uncertainty I realized that that is a great part of my message. So really I write about whatever is on my mind, and post photographs, mostly having to do with the lake I live by and sunrises or sunsets, like this picture I took tonight.

fisherman in kayak

Although I haven’t yet written about politics or current events, that may happen. I have touched on family, spirituality, creativity, and personal growth, and connected with quite a variety of bloggers. After 6 months I am just beginning to feel a part of the “blogosphere” which is really quite different from social media like facebook or twitter. I’m happy to connect with anyone who wants to connect with me.

The last question is a bit difficult. I’m not sure what it means to blog successfully. Maybe it means that I am consistent and that people read and sometimes comment on what I write about. I don’t have a business that I’m trying to promote here – I just want to share what I have learned and am learning in life, and read about other people’s lives and opinions and experiences. And share photographs.

I thought I would only be writing occasionally, but have found that I really enjoy this, and am more often than not considering what I will write next.  Thanks for being with me on the journey!

PS. I have updated my About Me page.