I am finding, as I embrace uncertainty, that I am happier. Certainly there will be difficulties and sorrows in life, but there are ways of living that not only increase happiness when the sun is shining, but that will also keep the storms of life from tearing up my (or your) soul.

Here are some ways of being that I have found that ultimately lighten my burden and increase my happiness:

• I don’t feel a need to please everyone.
• I don’t feel a compulsion to explain myself anymore (most of the time!).
• It’s ok if some people don’t “get” me. The ones who count, do.
• I can be unavailable sometimes. I don’t have to answer your question immediately.
• Conversely, I don’t have to ask so many questions, or know all the answers.
• I don’t have to be anyone else’s idea of perfect. I am the only one I have to please – and it is ok if I’m a little bit (or a lot!) crazy.

I am realizing every day that there is no limit to my capacity to experience happiness. I’ve been going through a lot of transition the last couple of years — I divorced and moved from a house to an apartment, my two youngest children left home within 14 months of each other, I have a new wonderful love relationship,, my elderly father is becoming more dependent and childlike as his once brilliant mind fades — just to mention a few real life situations. But as I let life unfold, and take care of me first, which is what the list above is really about, I find that I have joy even when the road is bumpy, and a greater capacity for extending love and compassion to others.

“Although relatively few of us were told during our upbringing that the expansion of happiness is the purpose of life, most people sense somewhere in their soul that more joy ought to be part of the equation. How, then, do we move from a state of constriction to a state of ever greater freedom and happiness? the first step towards genuine awakening is setting the intention..deciding to live a life that reflects our right to happiness. This requires the recognition that we have the capacity to change the plotline of our life, even if we’ve been acting from the same script since before we can remember. It requires the recognition that we are the only one who cares enough about our happiness to make it a driving force. It requires believing at the deepest level of our being that we are capable and deserving of love.” – David Simon

What do you do for yourself, to increase your happiness?