I’m seeing a lot of great tributes to fathers on social media. I am happy for everyone who has had that kind of relationship with their father. Every time I see one of those posts, I feel a twinge of sadness. My father, although a good man, was never that kind of father. We had a good life with money and great vacations, but no emotional closeness. Now, although he is 87 and failing in health, I rarely speak to him because of his choice of wife, the woman he married 5 months after my mother died 5 years ago. I’m not going to go into all the details, but if you are interested, you can read the letter I wrote to him (but didn’t send) here and here. His wife is a toxic person but my father has chosen to spend his life with her, rather than have close relationship with his offspring. C’est la vie.
If you didn’t have a close relationship with your father, or had an abusive or not present father, today isn’t an easy day. I encourage you to write it out, if you haven’t already, and spend time with family or friends who are affirming and that you can share joy with. As for me, I will call my father and hope for the best. And I’m going to visit my sweet baby granddaughter, and smell flowers and play in puddles.