Tag: meaning

Following my passion

Sara Moser1 Comment

 “Let the beauty you love be what you do.”   -Rumi

For about three years I have been on a journey of the soul, seeking what is next for me, in how I live my life, and how I will spend the majority of my hours. For the last year, as part of my meditation practice, I have been asking myself three questions: Who am I? What do I really, really want? What is my dharma, my purpose?

I have made conscious life changes during this time, the only constant being that I go to my job consistently. And this has been, and is, a good thing. Besides being my bread and butter, I made some very good friends. I plan to continue going to this job for at least another year, in spite of major workplace changes, unless circumstances dictate otherwise.

tridosha-symbol

I am very happy to announce that I have enrolled in a course of study to become an ayurvedic practioner. I have looked into life and health coaching programs, but nothing spoke to my soul until I came across this program. I believe in looking for signs, synchronicity, clues from the universe that some might call coincidence. I “met” Melissa, whose blog is Sattvic Life, after I posted about my experience with the Hot Belly Diet. She blogs about her journey learning ayurveda and her joy in life. She has been an inspiration to me.

My entire adult life I have embraced various schools of thought regarding what is healthy, from studying medical nutrition in nursing school to growing my own food and making everything from scratch, and quite a lot in between. I realized that my passion is in promoting wellness, and what I know already about ayurveda is that its focus is on balancing that which is out of balance – mind, body, and spirit, as opposed to western medicine’s focus of focusing on only the physical and providing a pill for every ailment without addressing the root cause.

My dream is that in pursuing this course of study I will learn more about how to promote good health, using what I already know as a Registered Nurse, and integrating the new knowledge I will acquire. I want to have the abilities and credentials to establish a business in which I can help those who seek perfect health.

So here I go, continuing the journey. I am quite excited!

Nothing to lose

Sara Moser5 Comments

As I near what is commonly known as “retirement age”, dreams, fantasies, and desires for the future invade my thoughts frequently.

I don’t really know what retirement would mean for me, as I don’t have near the amount of savings that I would have had had I lived a “sensible” life. I do know that I want to keep making a difference in the world, and promote health and happiness to individuals who seek it. For about the past year, and even before then, I have been setting intentions and seeking guidance for what to do next. I have come to believe in synchronicity, which is another word for what many call coincidences. I have investigated some wellness coach and life coach programs, but so far have been unwilling and afraid to commit my money and my time.

I am a Registered Nurse but only hold a two year degree, obtained immediately after high school in the late 70’s. I decided 3 years ago to pursue my Bachelor’s degree, as it is required in more and more settings. After 3 classes, and the realization that I would have to take Algebra, I said “no more”. I don’t love the profession enough to  seek a higher degree at my age! If I’m going to study, I want to love it! I also disagree  with our modern pill-pushing healthcare system, often sad about the chronically ill people who flow the hospital’s revolving doors. There is a better way, I know, as I have practiced my own form of natural medicine for myself and my children for the years I was raising them, and sickness was, and still is, a rarity.

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”                                                                                                      -Steve Jobs

nature

The above quote landed in my inbox a couple of days ago, just as I also had begun to seriously consider a course of study to become an Ayurvedic practioner. I was fighting off all the negative thoughts that bombard me every time I consider making a major change or commitment. Is it fear of failure? Not being good enough, or smart enough, or _____enough? Yes! And what have I got to lose if I move forward and follow my dreams? Nothing! For this life is short, and purpose is to be found in the fulfillment of our heart’s desires.

Several people have affirmed to me in the past month that I am smart, powerful, intuitive, and can do anything I want to do. I have a multitude of choices, a variety of paths I can follow, and all I have to do is choose. There is no wrong choice, no bad path. I just need to take a step in a new direction, and keep walking, without knowing what the outcome will be.

Thanksmas

Sara Moser2 Comments

For the last several years, the gathering with my  seven children during the holiday season has been between Thanksgiving and Christmas, due to the complications that come with adulthood, like work, and relationships. We’ve gotten away from gifts, for the most part, and simply enjoy the presence of family we once shared daily life with.

My five offspring still in Texas, along with a few significant others and one grandbaby, got together for what used to be “Mom’s Black Bean Enchilada Dinner.” That was always a favorite, and favored this time of year because turkey is plentiful at other tables.

This year my daughter, the one with the baby, took over the cooking duties and hosted the gathering. I live in a small apartment, and really didn’t want to do the work of cooking. And Hannah wanted to use organic, non GMO ingredients, as has been her philosophy for at least 2 years. She is a really good cook, and I was happy to turn it over to her and have it at her house.

Great. Date set well in advance, yes RSVP’s all around — a-and — the baby gets a bad cold, won’t sleep, mother exhausted — so I spent half a day at her house “helping”. It involved a lot of baby holding, which was nice, but before everything could be put together, mother and baby disappeared to nurse and sleep and I, along with Robert and another daughter, put the casseroles together and cleaned up. Way more work than I had counted on, and I went home and crashed.

But– yesterday, when we all got together, it was all worth it. The food was good, the company was great, and we all had a good day. Five siblings reuniting, reminiscing about their childhoods.  Hannah says she’s not doing it again, others suggested doing something completely different, or catering. I know a lot can happen in a year, and the most important thing is to keep getting together with family, whatever that looks like.

Here’s my Thanksmas tree.

Christmas tree 2014

I am thankful for my family. And actually, am thankful for the empty nest, because I don’t have the energy it takes to have a full one. I am thankful that my kids are all ok.

And life goes on.

What do I have?

Sara Moser3 Comments

The last two years have brought many changes in my life. I got out of an unhealthy relationship,  moved, my two youngest offspring left home, and  I am now sharing daily life with the man of my dreams.  The only thing that didn’t really change during this time has been my job. I have been at it for nearly 5 years, and have been very thankful for the security and regularity it has provided during all these transitions.

I set some intentions relative to how and where I would live, and they have manifested in amazing ways. Yet I find myself continuing to ask myself “What do I really want?” This morning as I found myself pondering, I decided to focus instead on what I already have.

Peace.    I have been on a search for peace for years. I tried to find it through religion, friendships, moving from one relationship to another, but none of this worked.  I finally learned that I was looking outside myself for peace. Even expecting GOD to provide internal peace when I kept looking for people to make me happy didn’t work. While I was still married, I went to Al-anon meetings, and that program was the first place that I learned that I needed to take care of myself. I finally  became strong enough to make healthier decisions for me, as in getting a divorce instead of holding on to a fantasy.  Re-examining my beliefs about God, religion, and spirituality and beginning to meditate daily has led to the most peace I have known in my life – because I have found it within, instead of expecting it from outside myself.

“The world around us will never be peaceful until we ourselves are at PEACE WITHIN. If we are fighting and angry on the inside we will never experience the opposite on the outside.”
― Angie Karan Krezos

Love.   The greatest thing in life is to give and receive love. Without doubt, I have always been loved – I had a good upbringing with loving parents, have been in love relationships, and have had the love of my children, which I would have to say is the most special of all. I have generally taken care of myself, but until I began in earnest a quest for enlightenment, didn’t realize that I hadn’t been truly loving myself, which had the effect of an inability to give love unselfishly. Unselfish love doesn’t demand anything in return, yet attracts lovingkindness.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”  ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Freedom.   When I focused on the chaos around me and in me, I attracted chaos.As I learned that peace and love had to begin with me, I began to attracted peaceful and loving people into my life.  As my life changed, and I disentangled myself from that which didn’t serve me well, I began to experience a buoyancy of spirit. I also did something I’d wanted to do for a long time – divested myself of homeownership along with numerous possessions and embraced a more minimalistic lifestyle. This lightness of spirit plus minimalism has led to a sense of freedom that I’ve never known. I must add here that the fact that my 7 children don’t live with me anymore also contributes to that sense of freedom.

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

As I ponder these ideas, I am thankful for every step of the journey that has brought me to HERE.  A huge life lesson is to learn to live without regrets, whether it be about how I failed my children, or wasn’t able to stay married, or wasted money. All those things were part of what I was supposed to learn. I have no doubt that I have more lessons ahead of me. I plan to meet whatever challenges lie ahead with peace, love, and hope.

 

 

 

 

 

After Thanksgiving

Sara Moser3 Comments

I have had a cold.

I rarely get sick, but when I do, even a little, it puts me in a funk. So I didn’t do the last Photography 101 assignments. I am considering getting a “real” camera, but not sure. I imagine taking award winning photos and becoming famous for my amazing pictures.

I enjoyed Thanksgiving day, partook of a not so traditional meal with a non-traditional family. It was wonderful. Drank a good bit of good red wine. That evening I became feverish with a severe sore throat, but was better by the next morning due to some TLC from Robert and  a long sleep. The rest of the weekend I’ve been congested in my head, have drunk a lot of tea and rested, and am much better. Off to work I go this morning.

I am grateful for my family — scattered grown up children, ghosts of Thanksgivings past, when we’d have small children everywhere, 20+ at the table.

I am grateful for my present day friends – good food, good conversation, laughter and warmth.

I am grateful for my day to day life – the man in my life, the roof over my head, plenty to eat, clothes to wear.

I am grateful for the internet and social media – learning new ways to connect with people all over the world — hearing your thoughts and struggles, hoping to be an encouragement.

May your week after Thanksgiving be a time of renewed connection, mended relationships, and hope.