A Day Off

Since quitting my full-time job in July, my life is my own. Or is it? What am I taking a day off from? (warning: this post evolved into total stream of consciousness!)

Starting from last Saturday, let’s take a look at my schedule for the past week, and most weeks. My 3 year old granddaughter stayed overnight with me Saturday, and again on Monday, while her mama worked. Thursday I spend with the now 6 month old twins. Tuesday evening is my Ayurvedic Spiritual Counseling course. I worked, albeit from home, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday, for a total of 18 hours.

Today, Friday, is the only day this week that I have nothing on my calendar. Not even a yoga class. So there you have it, a day off.

I always think I am going to “accomplish” big things when a day like this comes along. But what does that mean, anyway? I have in mind to get all my homework done, do some painting, do some writing, cook a delicious meal, go for a long walk, do laundry, clean the bathroom. I doubt if I’ll do all that, and I may do other things. It just feels good to have an entire blank slate of a day.

Right now it is the middle of the day and Robert is fixing lunch, some kind of garden veggie burgers, and vegetables and grains and it smells delicious! I guess if I’m going to cook it will be dinner!

wp-1484932347137.pngI got up at 6:45 and meditated.  Then I went back to bed for a bit. Got up and had tea, wrote in my journal, did some Yoga with Adriene, my favorite youtube yoga teacher. Ate my favorite breakfast of oatmeal with raisins, walnuts, and stewed apples. Took a shower and washed my hair. Threw some paint on a canvas, almost literally!

And I’ve been sitting here on the couch writing between doing laundry. I started a new blog this week, The Cat’s Advice – just for fun, check it out!

While we are on that subject, I also started Finding Ayurveda. It’s purpose is mostly for me to put together what I’ve learned into content that makes sense to people who don’t know anything about Ayurveda.

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Now it is after lunch, which is just as delicious as I expected. I sit here writing with my phone propped against the screen  skyping the aforesaid granddaughter. Lately, we’ve been doing this more frequently, just “hanging out” so her mama can have 30 minutes to do some organizing or whatever.  Precious time, precious child. I don’t post pictures of her at her mother’s request.

wp-1484942917585.jpgIn a little while, I will drive down to the nature trail and take a walk. Today it is a balmy 77 degrees, a beautiful summer like day in the middle of January.  Yeah I’m doing that instead of watching the inauguration. You’ll never find anything political here.

Whatever you do today, may you be happy and look for the good. Remember, whatever you put your attention on grows and strengthens.

Thanks for reading my blog!

June Jots

June bug holdin on-1If April showers bring May flowers, what does June bring? JUNE BUGS! I haven’t seen any yet, but I know they are coming.

We’ve had an incredible amount of rain here this last month. If you saw on the news that there is record-breaking flooding in Houston, that is right down the street from me. I have not been personally affected. The worst day I just had to make a couple of detours to get to work. Very near me, however, there was water up to the roofs of the cars. Most people only suffered the loss of their car or damage to their home, but sadly there were a few who lost their lives. I have lived in this area all my life, and can’t recall flooding this bad outside of a hurricane or tropical storm.  In the aftermath of the rain, the mosquitos are plentiful! And June 1 marks the beginning of hurricane season. Aw, summer!

Starry night
Starry night

I finished this painting early this month:

Otherwise, it wasn’t a month for a lot of inspiration for me as far as writing or creativity.  I do think it was a turning point for me as far as this blog goes, as I wrote in Uninspired. I started this blog last year feeling very inspired, thinking that amazing wisdom would just roll out of me all the time. All you writers, stop laughing! On top of that, I was reading a lot about blogging, about how I should have a platform, or a focus, or… something besides random thoughts, anyway. The best thing I did was write about it, then not write, then write just for me, not for anyone else. And if sometimes I’m inspired about a topic, and other times I write about my travels or my daily life, I’m ok with that, and that is my platform, anyway after all – embracing uncertainty. If you enjoy reading about my life and what is in my head, that is icing on the cake.

I am continuing my Ayurvedic studies and yoga classes, and had some wonderful times with family and friends. Early in the month my son from Austin and my baby girl away at college drove in for the weekend and we had a wonderful family reunion. My oldest son is moving up near Dallas this month to be with his girl (wedding plans for August!) so that will leave only two of my kids left in the Houston area.

Then, as you faithful readers know, I took at trip to Iowa to visit my oldest daughter. I enjoyed writing about each day starting here, and if you enjoyed my ramblings you can look forward to more of that when I travel to Montana to visit my cousin in a few days.

Hope you have some fun plans for the summer!

 

Uninspired

I’ve felt uninspired lately.

I haven’t even been journaling as much. I sit to write and it sounds like the same stuff over and over. Additionally, I haven’t been making much time to read other blogs, even though there are several writers I really enjoy. On top of that, I haven’t painted or taken many pictures lately. Everything just seems sorta blah.

Every so often I’ll get on wordpress, read a few posts, and wonder how people write so much, some every day. I periodically wonder why I started a blog in the first place. Oh yeah! I thought I had something to say that was inspiring. Then I got all into Blogging 101 and Photography 101 and following other blogs and hoping people would follow mine. Now I look at the list of blogs I follow and I don’t have time to read all that.  I’m not getting new followers lately — but hey! I haven’t been writing much. Would just like the stats to say woohoo! you’ve reached xxxx followers.

Sigh. That’s bullshit. That’s no reason to write, or paint, or any other pursuit.  If, in the course of writing, I put something out there and someone truly finds inspiration, great. If not, I’ve expressed myself. This is what all the great writers and painters say- do it for yourself first. So if I don’t have anything for awhile, that’s ok. I’ll read and study and travel, and be curious about everything.

So. New resolution. Stop being so concerned about putting up a blog post for the sake of putting up a blog post.  And when in the course of  the journey of life inspiration comes, go for it, in whatever form it takes.

Dreams

Time Marches on

March is upon us, February now another memory.

Winter is my least favorite month. Having been raised in the south, where snow is a rarity and cold weather a bother, I don’t own very many winter clothes. I think I have 5 sweaters and I only have one coat that I use on a regular basis. Two weeks ago it was up in the 70’s, then the storm that dumped snow on the north brought temps here to the 30’s again. I look forward to seeing the flowers blooming again, very soon.

My baby girl, my youngest, turned 19 in February. Young mothers, take note. Enjoy your babies and your young children, for they grow up very very fast.

“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow, for babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”               -author unknown

I wrote 4 blog posts in February, and posted 2 pictures.  Not as much as I had been doing, but I feel like I had a turning point in that I quit focusing on stats and writing just for the sake of writing. I journal a lot and decided to return to writing longhand for awhile, to see if it changes the flow. I read some of my journal from the past year, and what kept coming up was – “I want to” – write, paint, study, exercise, eat healthier, travel.  I’m determined to get rid of the I want to attitude, and just do it instead of putting it off.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.              – Steve Jobs

I added 3 pages to my blog – paintings, fav fotos, and my reading list. I read  A Spool of Blue Thread by Ann Tyler, the first fiction book I’ve enjoyed in a long time. I started the year with 5 titles, and now have 10 on the list. I’ve cut back on Netflix to make time for reading!

I’m on the verge of enrolling in a course of study to be an Ayurvedic practiioner. I’m 99% sure I’m going to do it. The only drawback is that I might not get to read as many books as I’ve been planning.

I painted this picture, my favorite so far.

between worlds

I have signed up for Photography 101 in March, so you will see photos here, primarily. I have ideas for blog topics, but they have been getting lost between my brain and my pen!

And I started a facebook fan page. 🙂

Goals for March:    Keep showing up!  Take pictures, read, write, paint.   Practice being nonjudgmental. Follow my heart.

Musings

If there is anything certain in life, it is that something will change. Kind of like the weather. Two days ago we had near freezing gloomy rain, and today it is beautiful and sunny, around 70 degrees.

Take this blog, and my reasons for writing, for example.  At the beginning of January I was determined that I was going to check in on my assignment for Blogging 101 every day and really improve what I am doing here. But I have only done a couple of the assignments. I keep playing around with the theme and widgets, and I think I’m finally happy with it. I do wish I could figure out how to insert a picture and text next to it as well as above or below it. Is there anyone reading who can help me with that?

I started thinking that I’m finding my voice and doing ok with writing, then I read this post about all the terrible writing that is appearing on the internet and was sure that she’s talking about me.(She also has some suggestions for some really good reads. )The same day someone nominated me for an award so I felt a bit better. But decided against accepting or getting involved in it due to the process required.

I was frustrated with myself this past week because I had nothing to write about. I felt tired and was crying for no apparent reason. Then I realized that I had expended a great deal of emotional energy writing the letter to my father, and deciding to post it here rather than actually mail it to him. Additionally, I am grieving the loss of the possibility of the kind of relationship I had hoped to have with him.

I’m trying to find the perfect balance of work, family, healthy eating and exercise, creative pursuits, writing, and occasionally traveling. I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing here. I don’t want to just try to get readers, I want to have something meaningful to say. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by it all. That is when I remember to draw myself back into the moment and think about all that I have to be grateful for.

It’s Sunday night, and I will be back in the work-a-day world tomorrow morning. I have a comfortable bed to sleep in, plenty of food, lots of love to give and receive. Moment by moment I will look for opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life, by a kind word or deed.

May your week be all that you want it to be, whatever you put your hand to do!