Category: Happiness

What do I have?

Sara Moser3 Comments

The last two years have brought many changes in my life. I got out of an unhealthy relationship,  moved, my two youngest offspring left home, and  I am now sharing daily life with the man of my dreams.  The only thing that didn’t really change during this time has been my job. I have been at it for nearly 5 years, and have been very thankful for the security and regularity it has provided during all these transitions.

I set some intentions relative to how and where I would live, and they have manifested in amazing ways. Yet I find myself continuing to ask myself “What do I really want?” This morning as I found myself pondering, I decided to focus instead on what I already have.

Peace.    I have been on a search for peace for years. I tried to find it through religion, friendships, moving from one relationship to another, but none of this worked.  I finally learned that I was looking outside myself for peace. Even expecting GOD to provide internal peace when I kept looking for people to make me happy didn’t work. While I was still married, I went to Al-anon meetings, and that program was the first place that I learned that I needed to take care of myself. I finally  became strong enough to make healthier decisions for me, as in getting a divorce instead of holding on to a fantasy.  Re-examining my beliefs about God, religion, and spirituality and beginning to meditate daily has led to the most peace I have known in my life – because I have found it within, instead of expecting it from outside myself.

“The world around us will never be peaceful until we ourselves are at PEACE WITHIN. If we are fighting and angry on the inside we will never experience the opposite on the outside.”
― Angie Karan Krezos

Love.   The greatest thing in life is to give and receive love. Without doubt, I have always been loved – I had a good upbringing with loving parents, have been in love relationships, and have had the love of my children, which I would have to say is the most special of all. I have generally taken care of myself, but until I began in earnest a quest for enlightenment, didn’t realize that I hadn’t been truly loving myself, which had the effect of an inability to give love unselfishly. Unselfish love doesn’t demand anything in return, yet attracts lovingkindness.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”  ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Freedom.   When I focused on the chaos around me and in me, I attracted chaos.As I learned that peace and love had to begin with me, I began to attracted peaceful and loving people into my life.  As my life changed, and I disentangled myself from that which didn’t serve me well, I began to experience a buoyancy of spirit. I also did something I’d wanted to do for a long time – divested myself of homeownership along with numerous possessions and embraced a more minimalistic lifestyle. This lightness of spirit plus minimalism has led to a sense of freedom that I’ve never known. I must add here that the fact that my 7 children don’t live with me anymore also contributes to that sense of freedom.

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

As I ponder these ideas, I am thankful for every step of the journey that has brought me to HERE.  A huge life lesson is to learn to live without regrets, whether it be about how I failed my children, or wasn’t able to stay married, or wasted money. All those things were part of what I was supposed to learn. I have no doubt that I have more lessons ahead of me. I plan to meet whatever challenges lie ahead with peace, love, and hope.

 

 

 

 

 

October Adventures

Sara Moser1 Comment

October is half over. At the beginning of this month I had a few plans, but most of what I encounter is unexpected. Even the plans take their own twists and turns. More and more I realize that I am just along for the ride, and I can cover my eyes in fear or face whatever comes with excitement, even, or especially, the little things.

attitude

 

I took a mosaic class, and here is the result.Not bad for a first project. My teacher is Michelle Patrick. She’s pretty awesome.

mosaic pot

I took an online quiz – which movie star are you? and got this result. Fun!

Bette Davis

I enjoyed a martini happy hour with some friends.

martinis

I completed the hot belly diet in the prescribed 30 days. I lost a few pounds, but it was more of a resculpturing, I think. My belly is definitely hotter. haha. Seriously, I lost some belly fat and feel much better, more energetic. What I’m taking away from the experience is mostly to be more aware of what I’m eating, and how much, no matter what it is. I’m not eating between meals, and now sip on hot water and tea rather than ice water, as it is much better for digestion. But I am back to drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, half decaf. My current favorite coffee and recipe is Bulletproof.

I enjoyed this beautiful sunset.

sunset

And… the month is only half over.

Relax!

Sara MoserLeave a comment

The best thing to do when frustration sets in is STOP.

So that’s what I did after writing my last post. I decided not to write, or paint, or work on my organic home business, and just enjoy life. So what have I been doing?

I’ve gone to a couple of social events – dinner, a movie, through Meetup.com.

I took a road trip to Austin last weekend, ate at some great places and spent some relaxed time with my son and some friends. Just driving – alone or with a companionable companion, watching the scenery, listening to music, talking – is very decompressing.

I took a class in mosaics, which was enjoyable, but I’ve decided that I’d rather paint!

I’ve been learning more about Ayurveda, and started  a 30 day program to “reset” my digestion – The Hot Belly diet. I’m on day 18 and feeling great!

I’ve signed up for a course through the Chopra Center – Synchrodestiny.

It came to me very clearly a few days ago that what I really, really want to do is get a health coach certification, and make a difference in the lives of people who are seeking wellness rather than embracing illness. Working in a hospital around sick people can be rather depressing after a while. Most of the clientele, at least at the hospital where I work, are in and out, chronically ill, dependent on doctors and pills, not really changing the way they live and really get better. So I am going to start writing down ideas and see where this goes.

Last but not least I’m moving my muscles again, slowly!  A little yoga, a few kettle bell swings, walking — the main thing is – RELAX!

What do you like to do when stress has taken over and you need to  relax?

Transitions

Sara MoserLeave a comment

The lake called to me this morning. I took my coffee and sat on the bench, drinking in the relative cool of the morning air.

 The surface of the lake is still, interrupted occasionally by a fish jumping or insect skimming the surface. The  light blue cloudless sky foreshadows another hot day – upper 90’s, high humidity. 

As I sat, memories of the last two years crowded my mind. I have lived and loved and learned so much — finally feel like I’m on the verge of adulthood, even though my 58th birthday is just around the corner. I break my life into segments – my childhood and adolescence, my first marriage with all the children, my second marriage with all the chaos, the first year after that of singleness and dating, of working on me like crazy, seeking the wholeness of loving myself first, and being ok with the possibility of living my life on my own, while also going out and having a great deal of fun meeting  a lot of new people.

I think of the times I sat on this bench, wanting to live where I could look out at this view every morning, and moving, just over a year ago, to the third floor apartment making my intention a reality.My heart swelled and I shed some happy tears, thinking about the events of the last year, since I met Robert, and the gradual awareness that this was the person with whom I wanted to spend time with, to share life with, and that this was a mutual experience. We took two trips to California, to the Chopra center, experiencing expansion of happiness. My first grandchild was born, my youngest child left home, my second eldest got married, which facilitated a reunion of all the kids, probably the last for a long time.

Now, another transition is happening, as Robert and I made a decision to share living quarters, both of us tired of the 40 minute drive between us. We are staying here, at my place by the lake, and it is an interesting and challenging endeavor in so many ways. We have been gradually bring his stuff in, working on the blending of our possessions in a way satisfactory to both, and it is a wonder to me that over and through all the decisions and work, there is a strong rope of peace and love connecting us, a healthy love, not emotional dependence.

As I continued pondering these things, gazing out at the beauty of the water and sky, a boat interrupst the silence, sending ripples my way, I find myself asking again – what is my purpose? The answer this morning is strong in my heart. I am a mother, have borne children and loved them as best I can. My continuing purpose is to be love, in whatever form that can take, with whomever I find myself sharing moments with. Everything else is icing.

Don’t worry, my heart tells me, rest in each moment, and don’t be afraid.

“Fate is how your life unfolds when you let fear determine your choices.  A path of destiny reveals itself to you, however, when you confront your fear and make conscious choices. ”     – Carolyn Myss