Tag: happiness

What do I have?

Sara Moser3 Comments

The last two years have brought many changes in my life. I got out of an unhealthy relationship,  moved, my two youngest offspring left home, and  I am now sharing daily life with the man of my dreams.  The only thing that didn’t really change during this time has been my job. I have been at it for nearly 5 years, and have been very thankful for the security and regularity it has provided during all these transitions.

I set some intentions relative to how and where I would live, and they have manifested in amazing ways. Yet I find myself continuing to ask myself “What do I really want?” This morning as I found myself pondering, I decided to focus instead on what I already have.

Peace.    I have been on a search for peace for years. I tried to find it through religion, friendships, moving from one relationship to another, but none of this worked.  I finally learned that I was looking outside myself for peace. Even expecting GOD to provide internal peace when I kept looking for people to make me happy didn’t work. While I was still married, I went to Al-anon meetings, and that program was the first place that I learned that I needed to take care of myself. I finally  became strong enough to make healthier decisions for me, as in getting a divorce instead of holding on to a fantasy.  Re-examining my beliefs about God, religion, and spirituality and beginning to meditate daily has led to the most peace I have known in my life – because I have found it within, instead of expecting it from outside myself.

“The world around us will never be peaceful until we ourselves are at PEACE WITHIN. If we are fighting and angry on the inside we will never experience the opposite on the outside.”
― Angie Karan Krezos

Love.   The greatest thing in life is to give and receive love. Without doubt, I have always been loved – I had a good upbringing with loving parents, have been in love relationships, and have had the love of my children, which I would have to say is the most special of all. I have generally taken care of myself, but until I began in earnest a quest for enlightenment, didn’t realize that I hadn’t been truly loving myself, which had the effect of an inability to give love unselfishly. Unselfish love doesn’t demand anything in return, yet attracts lovingkindness.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”  ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Freedom.   When I focused on the chaos around me and in me, I attracted chaos.As I learned that peace and love had to begin with me, I began to attracted peaceful and loving people into my life.  As my life changed, and I disentangled myself from that which didn’t serve me well, I began to experience a buoyancy of spirit. I also did something I’d wanted to do for a long time – divested myself of homeownership along with numerous possessions and embraced a more minimalistic lifestyle. This lightness of spirit plus minimalism has led to a sense of freedom that I’ve never known. I must add here that the fact that my 7 children don’t live with me anymore also contributes to that sense of freedom.

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” ― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

As I ponder these ideas, I am thankful for every step of the journey that has brought me to HERE.  A huge life lesson is to learn to live without regrets, whether it be about how I failed my children, or wasn’t able to stay married, or wasted money. All those things were part of what I was supposed to learn. I have no doubt that I have more lessons ahead of me. I plan to meet whatever challenges lie ahead with peace, love, and hope.

 

 

 

 

 

After Thanksgiving

Sara Moser3 Comments

I have had a cold.

I rarely get sick, but when I do, even a little, it puts me in a funk. So I didn’t do the last Photography 101 assignments. I am considering getting a “real” camera, but not sure. I imagine taking award winning photos and becoming famous for my amazing pictures.

I enjoyed Thanksgiving day, partook of a not so traditional meal with a non-traditional family. It was wonderful. Drank a good bit of good red wine. That evening I became feverish with a severe sore throat, but was better by the next morning due to some TLC from Robert and  a long sleep. The rest of the weekend I’ve been congested in my head, have drunk a lot of tea and rested, and am much better. Off to work I go this morning.

I am grateful for my family — scattered grown up children, ghosts of Thanksgivings past, when we’d have small children everywhere, 20+ at the table.

I am grateful for my present day friends – good food, good conversation, laughter and warmth.

I am grateful for my day to day life – the man in my life, the roof over my head, plenty to eat, clothes to wear.

I am grateful for the internet and social media – learning new ways to connect with people all over the world — hearing your thoughts and struggles, hoping to be an encouragement.

May your week after Thanksgiving be a time of renewed connection, mended relationships, and hope.

 

Searching for purpose

Sara Moser5 Comments

“What do I really, really want?”

This is the question that I ask myself often, a soul question.

I have a great job, although it certainly isn’t a passion. I am good at it, I like the security the paycheck gives me, I have a boss who gives me space as well as encouragement. My kids are grown and doing fine, and I have a great life and wonderful partner to share it with.

Yet. Always this question. I know that I want to spend more time outside in nature, more time writing and photographing, more time dabbling in paint and other creative endeavors. I want to travel to places I’ve never been. And I want to find a way to help others live a happier, healthier way.

I’m glad I signed up for Photography 101. I’ve been enjoying the different assignments, although right now I’m rather stuck, and tired of using my phone camera. I want to be able to take beautiful close up shots like these beautiful pelicans.

Blogging 101 has been mostly about how to set up my wordpress site, not so much about writing. Maybe that will come in Blogging 102. It’s been helpful, even stretched me to write a poem one day. I’ve connected with quite a few other bloggers, who inspire me to keep writing, keep taking pictures, keep traveling and experiencing life to the fullest.

As I sat this past weekend, outside on a beautiful day, savoring the sights, sounds, and scents around me, this question formed in my mind: ” God, Great Spirit, Universe – what am I supposed to do? What is my purpose?” I sat in silence for a while, then the realization slowly dawned on me that I can do anything I want. I need to stop looking outside myself for answers, and look within, face my fear (again!), and when I am ready, I will take the next step, whatever that is, and it will be exciting and uncomfortable, scary and exhilarating.

Relax!

Sara MoserLeave a comment

The best thing to do when frustration sets in is STOP.

So that’s what I did after writing my last post. I decided not to write, or paint, or work on my organic home business, and just enjoy life. So what have I been doing?

I’ve gone to a couple of social events – dinner, a movie, through Meetup.com.

I took a road trip to Austin last weekend, ate at some great places and spent some relaxed time with my son and some friends. Just driving – alone or with a companionable companion, watching the scenery, listening to music, talking – is very decompressing.

I took a class in mosaics, which was enjoyable, but I’ve decided that I’d rather paint!

I’ve been learning more about Ayurveda, and started  a 30 day program to “reset” my digestion – The Hot Belly diet. I’m on day 18 and feeling great!

I’ve signed up for a course through the Chopra Center – Synchrodestiny.

It came to me very clearly a few days ago that what I really, really want to do is get a health coach certification, and make a difference in the lives of people who are seeking wellness rather than embracing illness. Working in a hospital around sick people can be rather depressing after a while. Most of the clientele, at least at the hospital where I work, are in and out, chronically ill, dependent on doctors and pills, not really changing the way they live and really get better. So I am going to start writing down ideas and see where this goes.

Last but not least I’m moving my muscles again, slowly!  A little yoga, a few kettle bell swings, walking — the main thing is – RELAX!

What do you like to do when stress has taken over and you need to  relax?

Freedom from fear

Recovering a Sense of Identity – Part Two

Sara Moser3 Comments

Everything has a purpose. Even if you have spent part of your life dealing with a Crazymaker. Take it from me!

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose. — Elisabeth Kubler Ross

This post is a continuation of commentary springing from my reading of the second chapter of The Artist’s Way. If any of this is resonating with you, I highly recommend that you get this book. Even though it is supposed to be a 12 week course, life happens and if it takes 12 years that is ok.

In addition to really emphasizing the need to get away from toxic people, the author reminds us that there is a higher guidance available to us in moving through our fear and accessing our creativity. We tend to think that it is arrogant to speak of ourselves as creative artists, but the truth is that it is arrogance to refuse to acknowledge it. Whew!

To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. — Robert Louis Stevenson

***********************************************************************

Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness. –Shakti Gawain

It is one thing to point the finger at others as the barrier to our recovery, but an even greater enemy comes from within, Ms Cameron goes on to say, and that enemy is skepticism!  It doesn’t matter what our belief system is — we have this tendency to doubt the idea of creator and creativity. But, I am learning,  the thing to do is just keep letting it flow in spite of doubt. The author recommends morning pages – freely writing about 3 pages, longhand, every morning. I have been doing this fairly consistently, and I think it is making a difference, somehow, even in the midst of a very busy life.. The “artist’s date” has been a little more elusive – it is doing something by myself, with “my artist.” So far, I’ve taken myself shopping a couple of times and spent a little time painting, but haven’t really dedicated myself to doing anything, although I think I’m getting better at just being with myself, getting in touch with the silence within, primarily through meditation. But I digress.

We need to look for unexpected opportunities, or coincidences, or as Deepak Chopra says, synchronicity. We need to set aside our skepticism, take risks, and nudge open that door through which we can see dazzling light. In that light are lots of ideas that seem impossible, so we stick with the comfortableness of the dark room we are in. It takes recognizing that wall of fear and continuing to push the door open and walk into the light of creativity.

Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music –the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures,beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself. — Henry Miller

Long ago, before the internet and email and social media, people stayed in touch by writing letters about their lives and sending them to each other. Often those letters were about small details of their day, or observations about what flowers were blooming or the change in the weather. This paying attention to detail about the now is a way to connect to the universe and expand happiness and creativity. The reward for attention is always healing. I have journaled on and off through the years, and much of what I have written about is pain. The author of Artists Way also notes that she has written about pain, and that is what it took to get her to pay attention to the present moment. Think about it. The past may be too painful to want to remember, and the future could be too terrifying to contemplate, so focusing on the right now is the safe place to be. Right now, I’m breathing, and in the exact now, I am always all right.

What is blocking you? and what are you going to do about it?